#this isnt any hate to anyone saying that stuff by the way but that reading of the scene just felt so... idk a bit hollow to me

[mbat]

i love the "do it again" thing because there are people who are like 'they only kissed because its the human thing to do, its a human way to show love, crowley just wanted to make a point' but if aziraphale wanted it done again then that means that its not just a human thing to want to do, they want to do it, or at the least aziraphale wants it done to him by crowley.

so anyway that hurts my soul good evening good omens tumblr

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Love is Stored in the Cat: A Nepeta Leijon Character Study

I guess these are a series now! I also have a request for Feferi in my inbox that I'll get around to eventually.

SO! Dear, sweet Nepeta.

Nepeta is the troll that is most against the existence of the hemocaste.

I believe the Ultimate Self speech was originally going to be from her, not Davepetasprite^2.

She's bad at shipping.

These all make her extremely impurrtant!!!

So furst of all, I'm going to start with the same disclaimer as my Eridan essay (go read that first!!! It sets up a lot of ideas that I'm expanding on here), which is that the things Hussie says are going to be lowered in value, because he likes to play coy about plot stuff. I'm also not counting anything but the actual text as canon, and even with in that text, I'm counting everything after GAME OVER as soft canon - a suggestion of what would have been, often truncated for time, often a deliberate middle finger to the shitty fandom.

Okay, so with that squared away!

Nepeta Says Fuck The Hemocaste

I'm not going to bother doing a deep dive on Nepeta's characterization, because fur the most part, I think the fandom more or less gets her right - she wears her heart (h33h33) on her sl33ve, after all! She's a very sweet little catgirl who loves roleplay and shipping, who is also a vicious hunter of wild beasts and lives in a cave. She's very nice and friendly, but has a tough streak and a spine.

She also says fuck the hemocaste, why does that even exist:

CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter! AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!

This is a radical stance not outright shared by any of the other trolls. Aradia calls highbloods "hateful sn0bs" that she and Tavros shouldn't have "ever had anything t0 d0 with", the highbloods are, of course, all casteist to varying degrees, and even Karkat seems fairly accepting of the class divide, at one point taunting Vriska that her rejection from the blue team is "ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY". Not to mention his long-held dream of becoming a threshecutioner.

Even Feferi, despite saying to Eridan that "W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!", is actually perfectly comfortable with the caste system's existence, comparing having to stop using her royal typing quirk to "peasant-IFICATING" herself - and let's not forget that a Beforus under her rule had its caste system 100% intact.

This means that Nepeta is the ONLY troll who has said, in no uncertain terms, that the caste system should not exist. It's stupid, it's bad, and it doesn't meowtter!

AND SHE'S RIGHT.

But she's never able to fully express this opinion, which brings us to:

A COMPLICKATED RELATIONSHIP WITH EQUIUS

Now, before I say anything, I must insist that I do believe these two work as good moirails. That does not, however, stop them from being 13, and therefore, being poor to each other the way 13-year-olds sometimes are. I don't think they should break up; I think they should re-examine certain dynamics, and I think they need some space to breathe apart from each other.

Equius has a lot of problems, which I won't get into overmuch here, because... that's a whole essay on its own (are you people seeing a trend yet). But with regards to Nepeta specifically, he's extremely controlling and protective, to the point where she's a little scared of him before the game begins:

AC: :33 < well it does sound like it will be a lot of fun but i think i should get purrmission first GC: BL4R!!!!! GC: TH4TS SO STUP1D GC: H3S NOT TH3 BOSS OF YOU AC: :33 < i know! AC: :33 < but still im kind of scared of him and i think purrhaps its best to just run it by him first so there isnt a kerfuffle about it or anything

She's also afraid to tell him about her crush on Karkat, since she knows he doesn't like Karkat:

AC: :33 < well AC: :33 < i have never told anybody this not even my moirail AC: :33 < heh, actually hes the LAST guy i might tell, he so wouldnt appurrve X33 AC: :33 < but yes i have liked somebody for quite some time, but alas he doesnt know it

By the time they end their game, she's gotten over this fear, seeing as she spends many hours curled up with Equius in a pile of robotics parts, but it still must be noted that they have some issues in their relationship that were never resolved, primarily on Equius's end. What this means for Nepeta, however, is that in addition to setting her up as the most outright anti-classism troll, the comic sets her up to be socially isolated due to her moirail's paranoia about letting her associate with both lowbloods (seeing them as bad influences) OR other highbloods, seeing them as dangerous.

He's not entirely wrong - his refusal to allow her to participate in FLARP kept her from winding up entangled in the horrible chain of revenge, as Tavros alludes:

AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU, AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps

But he's still wrong. And it's probably an uncontrolled manifestation of his Heir of Void abilities - he's both consciously and unconsciously hiding her from other people.

This isn't to say she doesn't stand up for herself! Many of her discussions with Equius are pseudo-arguments, and she does get her way often enough, managing to get him to roleplay with her, and managing to get him back in the roboti% pile to talk about his feelings about Aradia. She also talks to the humans explicitly against Equius's orders, although she's keeping it a sneakret from him:

NEPETA: :33 < but equius already furbid me from doing that :(( NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33 KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID? KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN. NEPETA: :33 < yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

But the fact that she has to tiptoe around him like this speaks to them having issues in their relationship that go unexamined and unresolved, especially since it's clear that Nepeta really would like to be friends with more people, were Equius not getting in her way. So, even though I do think they are good moirails for each other - they clearly genuinely, deeply care about one another. But they could use some relationship counselling.

In fact, Jasprosesprite^2 outright calls her lonely:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Or the girl who likes ships! Cause they made her less lonely. ;3

So, she's anti-hemocaste and lonely, two character traits that were set up and never resolved. And beclaws this is Nepeta, in her honor, I'm going to talk about a third:

Her Unrequited Crush On Karcat

She has the BIGGEST flushed crush on Karkat. It's seen on her shipping wall twice, once with the word OTP on it.

And, despite never discussing it with her moirail, Nepeta mentions it once to Jaspersprite, and once to Jasprosesprite^2.

Now, I'm not really here to debate on the validity of KatNep - I think it's fine, even if I don't personally ship it, and don't personally think it would work out (there are lots of indications that they wouldn't work out, including Jasprosesprite^2 outright saying so). However, her crush on Karkat is both complicated and creates some interesting setups for her character. I am going to discuss it fairly critically either way, so KatNep shippers have been warned.

A lot of her feelings about Karkat - and about shipping in general - wind up being heavily interlinked with her status as a Hero of Heart, so I'm going to expand on it more there. But what I will note in this section is the fact that, despite Nepeta insisting twice that she doesn't think Karkat knows about her crush on her:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < it was karkat NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i never told him and im pretty sure he never found out how i felt!

He tooootally did:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?

Interpret that how you will for shipping purposes, but I want to propose that this is a reflection of their statuses as Heart and Blood players. Heart, despite its players' obsessions with romance, is not the romance aspect, Blood is. Karkat displays this very same romantic acumen when he tells Dave that he's known Terezi and Gamzee were a thing for a long time, despite everyone else on the meteor trying to keep it a secret from him. Heart is, instead, about identity, feelings, motivations, souls, and self. In other words:

Nepeta Is Kind Of Bad At Shipping

Let's take a look at those shipping walls.

Let's break this down a little. Nepeta's ships are not entirely wrong, but even the successful ones are kind of wrong. Here's what I mean. We've already discussed how Equius and Nepeta's moirallegiance has some... issues in it. If we go down her list of ships that actually do happen, most of them have some issues in them!

Aradia expresses her regret for getting together with Equius in the Ministrife. Kanaya and Rose suffer some major relationship problems when Rose starts drinking, to the point Karkat feels a need to step in as an auspice. Karkat and Gamzee fail, as Karkat is not calmed by Gamzee, and Gamzee stops listening to Karkat. And while Sollux and Feferi seem to be fairly healthy, after they both wind up in the Furthest Ring, he's pretty much always next to Aradia - he and Feferi don't even get to exchange words with each other once they're in the Furthest Ring. Purrsonally, I think he and Feferi are meant to end up as moirails, but shhhh.

So what's happening here? Well, this goes back to her identity as a Heart player. Heart is concerned with feelings and motivations.

They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds. Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story. That isn't to say Heart-bound don't care deeply for their friends and allies; they just have a tendency to assume that everyone is as concerned with identity as they are.

Nepeta's shipping has also been associated with her isolation and loneliness. When you put this together, it implies that Nepeta's shipping is about her desire to understand others, and much of her ships are based on one of the parties having feelings, regardless of compatibility, feasibility, or broader implications. After all, despite the fact that she has pretty terrible romantic acumen, she IS able to instinctively identify that Eridan's advances toward her were insincere:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well ok i guess eridan hit on me a few times NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but his advances always struck me as cr33py and insincere

And that Karkat secretly LOVES and RESPECTS his friends:

JASPROSESPRITE^2: On the contrary Nepeta. You deserve someone who will RESPECT and ADORE you. NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well... yes NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i always hoped to find someone like that some day NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno maybe youre right but in spite of whatever problems he might have i always felt like i saw something in him that made me think he could be that purrson!

Or knowing that Equius loves to play games, and still feels sad about Aradia exploding:

AC: :33 < i s33 right through your stupid act, who are you trying to kid! AC: :33 < look how you go out of your way to use words that have x's in them so that you can use your silly purrcent signs AC: :33 < or use these absurd words that you can shoehorn a '100' into, even if its not strictly replacing 'loo'!!! AC: :33 < you are so transpurrent AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33

NEPETA: :33 < she was so happy, just like she used to be, and she said she would s33 you soon! EQUIUS: D --> That's a nice thought, and thank you for sharing it EQUIUS: D --> But it was only a dream, and will surely have no consequence in reality NEPETA: :33 < equius? NEPETA: :33 < are those f33lings i an detecting with my wiggly whiskery nose? EQUIUS: D --> Maybe

Because feelings, and not relationships, are her actual domain.

And speaking of Heart powers...

Nepeta and the Ultimate Self

So from this point forward, I'm going to assume you're more or less agreeing with my take that at some point after Game Over, Hussie - for whatever reason - gave up on his original ending, and wound up truncating his ideas so he could finish the comic faster. I go more into detail about that here.

So, in this hypothetical original ending, I firmly believe that the speech about the Ultimate Self would have come from Nepeta. First, let's take a look at what the "Ultimate Self" entails, as it appears within the comic:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming ... DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the time aspect is all about running into different versions of yourself so you kinda get confronted with it in a really literal way that can be disturbing DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < obviously davesprite stuggled with that too, but now its fine DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hes fr33 from worrying about it all and what it means for his place in reality DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < because he can s33 now all his selves have relevance in painting the full picture of who he truly is DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self

Now, I believe - and I hope you'll agree - that it's kind of lame, narratively, for Davesprite to have been set up with so much angst about not being the "real Dave," and for Nepeta to have all her issues with loneliness and shyness, and for these two specific iterations of each other to have never interacted, but suddenly getting double-prototyped fixes all of their problems, and they achieve Ultimate Selfhood despite being two total strangers to each other. So let's instead break down the more salient points about what Ultimate Selfhood entails, divorced from the fact that it's Davepetasprite^2 doing the narrating:

Every player in the game possesses an "Ultimate Self," an ultimate culmination of all their experiences and memories, specifically referred to as a "persona"

Normally, people are not aware of this, because it would be too overwhelming to deal with so many memories and iterations of each other.

Everyone will achieve Ultimate Selfhood eventually as the final culmination of their understanding of their aspect.

Heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self.

Let's talk about that last one some more, and by that I mean, let's see what Calliope has to say about it:

TT: I don't know why it had to be this way for me. Juggling these two waking selves at once. TT: I guess I'm used to it, but it still makes for a pretty intense existence. TT: Do you even know what the deal with that is? Like is there any precedent in your readings? UU: i don't know aboUt precedent, bUt it makes plenty of sense to me as the type of path one might expect for a hero of heart. UU: a path rUled by the heart aspect can be a joUrney of splintered self. UU: that is, the player's being may exhibit the same kind of fragmentation which certain classes coUld caUse in others. UU: i think this is what has triggered yoUr dUal-awareness between waking and dream selves, thoUgh it woUld not sUrprise me if the symptoms manifested in even more ways than this.

Now, Dirk has a clawmplicated relationship with his alternate selves, given that he's a Prince, but Nepeta wouldn't have the same struggles, or at least, not to the same degree. The problem is, hampered by Equius and her own shyness about discussing her thoughts and feelings with others:

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something

She never actually gets to explore this part of herself.

But What If... She Did?

The way I imagine the original ending going is that each troll that gets saved by John's interference in the timeline then asks John to help them fix their own mistakes, thereby saving somebody else. Each successive trip through the meteor brings new character development, and also riddles the comic with progressively more password pages, which I think would be really funny. And throughout all this the Game Over team is searching for Vriska, Meenah, and the treasure, and resolving their arcs that way, so it's not like they would be replaced - they're the ones who get to kill LE. The process, in my mind, goes like this:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent her from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros staying alive means that he and Gamzee wind up hashing out some stuff - Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. This is interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. So having Tavros back, alive, means that he and Gamzee would likely end up in some sort of relationship, probably pale despite flushed leanings, and would bring Gamzee back into the fold.

Gamzee would then be like, yeah, wow, that time I killed Nepeta and Equius was pretty bad, huh? Especially since his decision to hang onto his friends' bodies and prototype them is often interpreted as him genuinely feeling bad about his dead friends (he tells Kurloz to shut up when Kurloz mentions all the dead friends, and his religion seems to be about a paradise he wants to share with his friends anyway). So he'd ask John to prevent him from killing them, resulting in the two of them getting to live.

Things get much more hypothetical from here, since so much of the character dynamics would have changed, but I think by this point, Equius might command ask John to let him say goodbye to Aradiabot before she explodes, which he expresses feeling very sad about. However, in doing so, John and Aradiabot end up in the same room, and when she realizes that he has the ability to change the timeline without repercussions, she'd seize him by the arm and demand that he take her back in time, to before she died. After all, she expresses regrets about her reckless actions, and how she always felt like it was all one big setup.

She would take Aradia's place in the Vriska revenge chain, being once more freed of her robot chassis, and from there, would trick Doc Scratch and the Handmaiden into thinking everything was still going according to their designs. Meanwhile, Alive!Aradia would be hanging out at Equius's place, borrowing his void powers to avoid notice, coordinating a new timeline that keeps the beats of the original (too much deviation causes unpredictability, and an paradox'd timeline offshoot without John's direct interference would still become doomed), but allows them greater freedom and the ability to overcome the machinations of Doc Scratch and associates.

This would also prevent Sollux from becoming so self-loathing, since it's no longer "his fault" that Aradia dies, although he winds up in that hole again after Feferi gets killed. Now that his Aradia is alive, he wouldn't feel like he might as well stay in the bubbles because his closest companions are there, so he'd make it to the end, and would ask John to prevent Feferi's death.

Eridan still dies; he's so disconnected and isolated from all his friends that his course of actions is largely unaffected even by everybody else's timeline tweaks. But before Feferi can suggest bringing him back, Karkat would butt in.

The Friendship Troll should be the one to demand that ALL of their friends be revived, especially if they had everyone except only one guy, and Karkat and Eridan are heavily implied to be moirails anyway. The course of Karkat's fixes are so comprehensive, and primarily romance-based, that the end result of this final loop is everybody not only being alive, but god-tiered, with appropriate character development.

Now, where Nepeta's Heart powers would play into all of this is that she would start to notice something going on. After all, Heart players are sensitive to their splintered selves, and (Nepeta) is probably much closer to Nepeta than regular doomed timeline offshoots. As the loops continue, and Nepeta has more and more time to talk to people, and meets her dead alternate selves, and even meets (Nepeta), she starts to awaken to her Ultimate Self - to come into possession of alternate memories.

And if the Ultimate Self is a very soul-y kind of concept, such that Heart players have a natural advantage in coming to understand it, then isn't it a natural fit that a Rogue of Heart - one who steals from Heart or steals Heart for others - would be naturally inclined to share the wisdom of her alternate selves, and even the very concept of the Ultimate Self, with her friends?

Because the Ultimate Self is actually, in my opinion, a pretty good narrative device. It turns the sadness of the dead and doomed timelines into something littersweet instead, and makes it so any weirdness regarding time travel and not really knowing your friends anymore will eventually be resolved, even if off-screen.

It's not really narratively satisfying when Davepetasprite^2 suddenly comes into being and reaches enlightenment, but imagine if instead it's a post-character development Nepeta comforting Davesprite on his relevance, or Jade on her loneliness, or John on not really knowing these new post-retcon versions of his friends? It would feel a lot better, since in this hypothetical, she would have reached that point after on-screen character development. Being able to share her true self with her friends on the meteor - by necessity, since what else are they going to be doing for three years - leads to her finally being able to fulfill her role as a Rogue of Heart.

Also, at some point during these repeated meteor trips, she dates Karkat (whether that's successful or not, I'll leave to reader interpretation - you already know where I stand), fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date Karkat after she dies.

So that's two out of thr33 of her outstanding plot hooks resolved... okay. So, I try not to make these essays into ship propaganda, but hear me out:

Hate Is Stored In The FefNep

Okay, so, remember that thing about how Feferi is actually a huge casteist hypocrite? Well, let's also note that the comic, post-Murderstuck, seems to put Nepeta and Feferi together a lot - they're a Commodore and Rear Admiral in the ghost pirate army, respectively, and they also wind up as Fefetasprite. So I think it's not entirely out of left field to say that these two were implied to have SOMETHING going on.

And that something... is a difference in political views.

I mean, let's be real, there's a reason Fefetasprite is the most explode-prone after Tavrisprite. Miss "The Hemocaste is Stupid and Shouldn't Matter" vs. Miss "I Love Being A Princess And Call Jade Hornless and Finless (Derogatory)"? Come on, tell me you don't see it.

Without getting too much into Feferi, this hypocrisy, and unwillingness to check her privilege (so glad I found an excuse to use that term unironically), are probably her greatest character flaws - ie, the things you would expect the story to address about her. Meanwhile, one of Nepeta's flaws, which she laments to Jasproseprite^2, is that she feels too shy to talk about her feelings to other people, leading to her having never expressed her views on the hemocaste to anyone but Equius.

I think that they initially think they'd be friends. Each one of them would go "oh man, this other girl is soooo cute, I wish I could talk to her more often!"

And then, once they do, they realize they fucking hate each other. Nepeta would go "X00 < you are such a hypocrite who f33ls like youre better than all of us!!!" and Feferi would go "You're suc)( an uneducated glubbing P-EASANT! 3X0" and then they'd claw each others' eyes out. It would be so funny, and if a homestuck ship isn't extremely fucking funny, then why are we even here.

But more importantly, this would further them along into resolving each others' arcs - Feferi would be forced to grapple with the greater implications of classism, and Nepeta - who is shown having a spine the most in defiance of somebody else - would grow more aggressive about being open about her feelings in defiance of Feferi. Even Equius would get roped into it in a positive way - you can just imagine him going "D --> Can I really believe my auricular sponge clots D --> Nepeta, you are finally taking interest in politi%" and be 100% on board with teaching her so Feferi won't be able to call her uneducated.

And then for flushed, I dunno! Karkat's an option, and Jade and Jake also both love the fuck out of furries, and Tavros seems nice. But yeah I'll die on the fefnep hate ship. Guys it would be so funny.

Thank you as always for reading! Let me know if there's a troll you want to hear me ramble about next.

[rqbossman]

Hello Mr Bossman! (and possibly anyone else who reads this)

Its an honour to be here, I have a few questions. First i appologise for the long paragraph, you may dismiss it for the questions at the bottom. For context, i am here after finishing TMA and being up to date with TMAP, i then went over and listened to RQG, and have just finished listening to Epilogue 3 and might i just say, good sir I am grateful for your podcasts. I am currently just a few months away from my final exams of High School, and as someone who even just 1 year ago was very lost, struggling with school and being just overwhelmed. TMA isnt exactly comforting, but the characters and plot managed to serve as a good form of escapism while sorting myself out. I found my self engaging more in creative things that i had originally put aside in favour of maths and science (which i hated but thought i needed to do). I started drawing again, even if just fanart. and i found things going well. By finding podcasts, story telling and these communities have helped me in my own understanding of what i want in life. I got an ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, and almost directly after started RQG and as my first hyperfixation (that i was aware of as an hyperfixation) gosh dang it hit hard. (in a good way). Ive been able to do so much more creative writing and drawings, and got re-involved with a small dnd group with some friends who i played one game with almost 4 years ago now. So overall, inspirational sounds cringe, but it was. Im doing my best with the upcoming exams, but trying to get in to Medicine is not my only prority, and the fact ive been re-introduced to my first love (Literature and story telling), im planning to go do an Arts degree and i know i wouldnt have been able to confidently make this decision, or even have survived this long in the school system without the work you and your coworkers do. Now the sap is out of the way, Question time! (if you could answer even just one of these questions it would be so cool)(they go in order of RQ relevant to random stuff)(dont feel pressured to answer all/any. i know i wrote alot): 1. what would you say is the best way to draft out a long-form story. (with "Erasing the Line" as an example) Did you start at the end, with the links to the overarching plot.

2. When working with the players (in a form of TTRPG), what did you do to make sure you didnt miss relevant timing of plot points/ avoid creating spoilers while still giving enough detail?

3. What are good places to start with making a job out of storytelling/voice acting/audio etc. In the case of RQ, how is this a job and where do i sign up please! /j (what i mean is, how is best way/how did you find all the people involved and was there a common path that you were all on before getting to where you are now?) 4. Do you have recommendations for Terry Pratchett Books, i may be an literary-leaning student, but it seems i have never actually properly read any of his books. so where is best place to start?/What did you read first?

5. Similar authors or similar inspirations? Did you have a favourite podcast you listen to in your free time that you havnt had a hand in producing/directing/working on. 6. Favourite song/album/artist. And more specifically, what you like listening to in background when doing either writing or (for ttrpg) character research/game planing. 7. Since the olympics are on at the moment, what has been your favourite sport to watch, if you have been watching at all. Thank you for your time :)

Thankyou for all the kind words. Knowing our work is helping people really keeps our engines fired up. Let's see if I can't answer your questions: 1. I "sandbox" which is where I just shove everything I can think of into an unorganised bullet point list. Characters, setting, plot, all of it in one big mess. Then I decide what type of story you want to tell, copy and paste to a new document and then start to organise the thoughts (with the sandbox on standby if new stuff comes in I don't know what to do with). I think of it like scultping, you cut away bits and reshape until something comes out the other end that is story shaped. Only then do I attempt to build the sandcastle and put something coherant together like a synopsis or scratch draft etc.

2. Very tricky. I did a complete review and update of all notes after each recording session and don't forget the audio eas edited. I made lots of gaffs that you never heard as audience.

3. I contacted anyone I could convince to take part and just proved I was serious by overworking. I don't reccomend that route. Unfortunately it really is "who" you know. That doesn't mean chase established professionals as much as it means you need to get out there and associate with other up-and-comers who match your vibe. For me the route was long and windy and not a particularly good example. 4. I normally recommend people do not read his books in publication order. Don't get me wrong, its wonderful watching his craft grow from one title to the next but I would recommend new readers tip their toe into his later works to see if they like where he ended up before committing the time. I often recommend 'Monstrous Regiment' as people's first one. My favourite though is 'Thief of Time.'

5. I don't get much time to listen to podcasts in the last couple of years. I used to listen to a lot of non fiction. 'Stuff you Should Know' and that ilk. I also read a fair amount of classic YA fiction to unwind (Windinsger trilogy, Bartimeous, stuff like that.) 6. Paul Simon's Graceland but when working I assemble a playlist for each seperate project that is tonally appropriate. If I really need to focus I listen to Classical Minimalism. Or the Old School Runescape soundtrack. I'm allowed to be ecclectic. 7. I am actually in an incredibly busy work crunch at the moment so haven't seen any of it!

[cakesmelons]

idk if your still gonna answer asks about the situation but as a fellow trans person i need to explain something that i'm noticing a lot of people are not understanding (don't worry this isnt at you or anyone upset with cal) i'm seeing quite a few people go "she's sticking to her beliefs and being respectful! she's not being transphobic so what's the big deal!?" and i genuinely want the people saying this to read this post and take into consideration on why this doesn't make the situation any better her belief is a very outdated and also dangerous one because believing that there can only be a male and a female invalidates so many people (trans, enby, non-binary, intersex etc) and those beliefs can cause actual harm to people to the point of literal hate crimes, i'm sorry but you guys shouldn't give her a pat on the back for "sticking to her beliefs" because her beliefs are very, very harmful and i've even seen other christens disagree with her and try to explain to her why this is bad

secondly; there's also how she called trans people a label and used the term in quotation marks, we are not a label we are living breathing human beings who want to be happy with ourselves and have a right to exists thirdly and there's the elephant in the room... the twitter likes and follows, it's proven many times that cal has liked straight up horrible transphobic and homophobic tweets and even follows people like matt walsh who want lgbtq+ people dead, if anyone defending her didn't know about the twitter stuff then that's fine but if you did and still defend her then it's clear you guys are beyond help closing statement: the reason why people are very upset with cal is that she lied to so many trans people in the community with a cut and dry example of being two-faced, you simply cannot say you respect trans people and interact with them while also going out of your way to have a low-key transphobic belief, liking transphobic stuff and following transphobic people especially when undertale and deltarune cannonicly have lgbtq+ character (cal even drawing said lgbtq+ characters like undyne for example which i find rich since i've heard she doesn't like mlm and wlw ships) and the community having SO MUCH lgbtq+ people this isn't a "lets agree to disagree" situation, this isn't drama either, this is a very serious situation also i've seen people go "she hasn't said any hate in the past!" as an defense, sorry but that doesn't change anything... i think it just makes the fact that she fooled everyone worse anyway sorry for this lengthy asks, i'm too scared to make a post but also i've been very upset about the situation and wanted to get my thoughts out because the way people are defending her without understanding why this is actually very bad is making me facepalm so hard sincerely, a very emotional trans man

I really don't have anything to add. This is a pretty good summary of this whole thing.

[muffledmayhem]

Obsessed with this motherfucker so im gonna drop a few random headcanons about him

ALL ARE SFW AND JUST SILLY STUFF ☝️ im not used to sharing my headcanons publicly like this hyuck hyuck

there’s very little to go off of from this media since all we really have is a pilot with bare , and i MEAN BARE lore to go off of so a lot of this is really me filling in blanks becus im Insane .

> Nordic bunny’s planet has a robotic look to it, i think that he built it himself out of complete boredom along with its inhabitants (that he probably destroys too, out of boredom….)

> I like to think that his guitar strings function like cat whiskers, they aid him in vision and processing the world around him. They’ve definitely busted a few times during battle, causing him to be disoriented for a bit.

> Hates things that are vaguely shaped like snakes (do NOT BRING A CUCUMBER NEAR THIS MAN)

> purrs….meows…does all those silly cat sounds but they’ve got an electric guitar sound effect

> has retractable claws, they do wonders for a man needs a quick escape route !!!!

> related to the thing above, oh he so absolutely adores scratching things up . has the biggest scratching post ever .

> He’s lonely, not like he intends to be but his personality is offputting to many, one of those people who you have a hard time reading into the things they say because every word that comes out of his mouth always sounds insulting. naturally judgmental, thinks he has a keen eye for fashion despite wearing only undies.

> what is his deal with the undies anyways ? i think he has sensory issues so he wears very minimal clothing thinking he’s serving absolute cunt but no ones ever told him how dorky he looked, and if any of his minions did well…..lets just say They’re no longer with us.

> definitely has a weird way of giving gifts…you know how cats bring you things they’ve hunted? well he’s no different, he wants THAT praise he wants you to tell him how competent he is.

> his tail is an indicator of his mood, follows the same rules of a cat .

LOOK AT HIM. TELL ME THIS ISNT TRUE.

> claims he can’t fucking stand emotional music, but listens to sad 80s rock . but no one will see that, they’ll see him as the dude who’s constantly blasting oldies metal classics .

> I AM A NORDIC BUNNY FANG HAVER TRUTHER . I JUST KNOW HED HAVE A TONGUE PIERCING TOO .

> he’s so reluctant to touch, he never knows if he fully enjoys it or not, you’ll be petting down his back and feel his back quiver almost like it’s trying to avoid your touch but he’s also - purring…he’s a confusing little guy…

> If he ever does manage to form something vaguely friendship like, he’d suck ass at managing the connection, oh you invite him to a party ? he sends you an image of himself stuck in the toilet with a text underneath saying “SOZZ . CANT GO. TOILET TROUBLEZ”

> that being said , not having a lot of experiences with relationships, he’d have an avoidant attachment style, he’d also. subconsciously be as unlikable as possible, he has no clue what defines being cool and likable he’s a little clung onto “be as cool and mysterious as possible”

> says “mrr?” instead of “hm?”

> Oh. in my mind he uses he/she pronouns . finds comfort in expressing femininity .

> I can’t see this guy having a preference for dating… he will take anyone who can break through the massive thick wall he puts up.

THATS ALL FOR NOW UHHH UHHHH

[notmyprey]

Small vent cause I swear I keep seeing this, and it just bugs me. Im not angry, I'm mostly just sad that this is where we are right now.

Guys, can we not harass others. Unless they are hurting others, what is harassment going to do? Make them sad? Make them hate themselves?

People can, in fact, have different likes and opinions than you. As long as they are not actively hurting people, hating others, or being mean, what is wrong with what they are doing?

Liking sfw vore, extreme cuddling, or any of its other names is not something that one should be harassed over.

Likeing vore in a sexual light is not something to be harassed over.

Liking it both ways is ok, too.

Also, the fact that some people are going out of their ways to harass people who like vore (sfw or nsfw) in a fatal/digestion context is so sad.

I personally dont find vore sexual. I personally dont like fatal (in the sense that the prey is dead completely and isn't a ghost or anything that still has a presence).

But here is the thing. I dont need to like and/or understand it to respect it. I dont need to like spiders to respect people who keep them as pets. I dont need to like the idea of having children to respect those who do.

People. You dont need to understand their feelings. You dont need to feel the same way. But they are people too. They have feelings. They are more than just text on a screen.

I know I may seem like a flat, one dimensional person since I post 1 type of content here, and thats how many people who like vore make their blogs too, but I am a human behind the screen.

Just, please. Respect others. I know, many people here are hurt. I know many people here have trust issues, and unfortunately, a draw of the vore community is that need for trust. But having healthy boundaries, having a healthy outlet that's not an anger filled rant (*will elaborate on what I mean at the bottom of this), and having someone to ask "can you make sure this is me talking, and not just my initial reaction" are things this community needs to work on.

If I were to give any advice, it would be to wait a minute before you post a vent, rant, or anything along those lines. Walk away for a minute, come back, and reread it. You may find that some of what you type is your initial anger, fear, or hurt speaking, not you.

I want your real voice to be heard, yall, and sometimes to do that, you need to step back for a moment. So before you send that hate message, before you post that rant, please ask yourself:

"Is that me, or what I was taught"

* I want to elaborate on what I mean by anger filled rant.

What I consider an anger filled rant is when someone finds something they dont like, and decid to attack it.

Instead of making something informative, they make something emotion filled. This isn't always bad. But this can be bad if the thing they are attacking is something that is not hurting others or themselves.

So in short, what I mean by anger filled rant is, a rant that attacks something that is not harmful.

I dont condone harassment towards anyone, but I do understand an angry rant if it is about someone who is hurting others. Again, that is not the thing I am referencing. I am not saying someone being angry at another for hurting people is wrong, it isnt. People should be angry at people getting hurt.

So yah, thank you all for reading this. I just needed to get this out there.

Guys, btw, this is not sfw interaction only for me (if you're rb you wanna make sfw only thats ok, def enforce your own boundaries) cause:

1. I feel like this is important for both sides

2. I have a 'if I dont see you, I dont care' rule cause I have given up on trying to blog all nsfw ppl lol. Sides they aren't monsters or anything. Just ppl. Still dont want them rbing or commenting, but liking my stuff is fine.

[dirksawesomesprites]

Sorry for that one comment I sent you. I just wanted my requests done, and didn't want to be blocked for being a proshipper. If you want a definition of proshipper I'll give it to you.

Proshipper: Pro is a prefix, not short gor problematic. That's wordplay.Someone who is for shipping, regardless of ship; anti-anti. Can sometimes correspond with anti-censorship, pro-fiction, or anti-harassment. This term has sometimes been twisted by antis via wordplay as a way to harrass proshippers for what they ship because they deem it problematic.

Just finish my requests and be done with it, okay? Even the Geno sprite.

i dont harass proshippers, i leave them alone because they probably get enough hate as it is. i just block them so i dont have to deal with them.

the pro in proship means support, not problematic. i know that. it is pro-any ships. including stuff like incest or pedophilla. which is why i dont like to interact with them. if they arnt hurting anyone or being weird about it? i dont care.

ive been acused of being a proshipper enough to know the hate they get bombarded with, and im not going to encourage people to do the same to others. ive been harassed enough in my life and i dont want others to experiance that aswell. im not saying go harass shitsolkat or the favship blog whatever their name was. but i dont support them.

proshippers can do what they want, i dont care, aslong as it is not harmful or they are proclaiming that incest and pedophilla is ok.

i understand that most proshippers indulge in that to cope with truama or maybe other issues that do not concern me. but other times it could be a mask to protect them from being seen as an actual pedo or someone who indulges in real incest. i dont care if its of fictional characters, it dosnt effect me? but when its real people like eddsworld for example, that effects actual people. which isnt cool.

i dont like incest, pedophilla, whatever proshippers indulge in. but im not going to support it. ive made it clear i dont like them. but im not going to harass them. nor will i encourage my following to do so either.

listen i dont care what you do behind close doors, you or any other person. but when youre public about it dont expect people to be accepting, especially if you identify as something people dont agree with, like a proshipper. i honestly dont give a shit. i just dont want it on my dash.

i hope you guys can read this and understand. i know proship does not stand for problematic ship. im pretty well educated believe it or not, i just dont like to talk about stuff like this unless necessary like now, because my frequent typos and not the best grammer makes me look worse. but i do know what im talking about. im not trying to flex or something but as someone who has had college level academic scores since middle school and and know most shit adults dont i think i have a place here to talk.

again im not trying to "flex" my knowlage, just trying to show people im not an idoit and why i feel like i know enough to speak on this matter. i know what the pro prefix means. its the same pro used in things like prolife procensoreship whatever.

sorry for this long post but i need to clear things up

i am not a proshipper. thank you very much roxy and tree eridan for telling people so. /sarc

i do not hate proshippers. you can interact with my posts, but just know im not on your side. i will just ignore or block you.

and to my followers? dont harass proshippers, or any people deemed "problematic" if i see anyone who follows or interacts with me doing so you will be blocked. i will not let anyone who does that shit interact with me. i have dealt with harassment, second hand and first hand enough in my life and i will NOT let anyone else experiance what i did at the hands of others hatefull actions and words. even if you dont agree with them. just leave them alone.

you can bring awareness to someones actions, but do not harass them. it wont fix anything.

again i apologize for this essay post. but this is a sensitive topic and felt i needed to talk about it

[creepedverse]

We need talbin lore dump so fuckin badd

I GOTCHUUUU. Heres the entire TalBin Lore. INSANELY LONG POST WARNING LMAOOO. Also for future reference, anything Talbin related that isnt directly relevant to Creepedverse/Farnbury plot shit should be asked on my main account @necroromantics so we dont flood the Creepedverse account with irrelevant stuff

-They met in high school (they were 16yrs old), in a shitty small town in North Dakota. They first encountered each other in the office in the first week of school; Tobin was in trouble for talking back to a teacher, and Tali was there for a course change. The two stubborn piece of shit trashy kids just sat there glaring at each other cuz neither of them knew how to back down LMAO

-Then they found out they shared an English class. Last period. They sat right next to each other.

-I dont know if yall know this, but Tobin was practically illiterate back in high school, due to him being in and out of school his entire life he was very behind on education. He was horrible at even basic math, spelling, reading. So he struggled a LOT in his English class to the point he dropped out again, only to go back a month later after his grandma pushed him, and told him to find a tutor

-He noticed early on that despite being countrygirl trailer trash, loud-mouthed and rude, Tali was pretty well-read. She kept to herself a lot, didnt really have any friends or got on with anyone, so it was mostly the grades she got back that made Tobin decide she was gonna be his tutor. Plus, he already had an interest in the challenge of befriending her anyways

-It took him a fuck ton of harassment and being an all around annoying nuisance in order to finally get Tali to cave and agree to tutor him. At her place after school every Wednesday, he has to pay up in cigarettes and $20 first. This arrangement of theirs was how they got to know each other properly in the first place

-At first it was Tali and Tobin sitting across this old wooden dining room table of hers, her father worked on the road so he was never home. She started off just getting frustrated with Tobins arguing and stupidity, theyd sorta just bicker and fight with each other over him not focusing, or listening, or understanding. He didn't know half the shit that was being asked of him, and he didn't know how to take it seriously

-It was when he talked back to her asking how the fuck he doesn't know what "coincidence" meant, he told her "Fuck I dunno, I was barely in school", and it finally clicked for Tali that he wasnt stupid, he really wasn't, he just had a bad start.

-So she went to the library and picked out low reading level books, and next Wednesday, she had him pick one out, and they read together. After that, Tali would start to really listen to the way that boy talked about things, like taking apart bikes and putting them back together, or the logistics of buying/weighing/flipping weed for profit, street smarts, people smarts

-And they started arguing less, and laughing together more. Theyd talk to each other in the hallways, and even had each others numbers. They became friends, though neither of them would admit it.

-Soon, Tobin would start coming over on days other than Wednesday, just for a place to crash. He never really wanted to be home, and Tali never really asked him why. She didn't mind having him over, in all honesty she started to enjoy it, and Tobin would always consider her place a safe space of sorts, someone he could rely on, somewhere to get away from shit.

-Eventually, he started spending the night there too whenever he got kicked out, or ran away. Tali would always let him in. Eventually, she trusted him enough to sleep in her bed, after he got her home after a party they drank too much at. Now for context, in highschool, Tali had a false reputation of being an absolute whore. Like rumours from girls who hated her, or guys she'd hurt the ego of, saying she'd sleep around, or that she was easy, or that she'd get drunk and sleep with a bunch of guys. Easy humiliation, and neither Tali nor Tobin listened to the rumours. So knowing that this boy, who she almost considered her best friend, would go out of his way to make sure she got home safe, the same way she'd make sure he'd get away from his home safe. She really did start to trust him, and he never broke it, and he trusted her too

-Tobin liked Tali a lot, sure, but he was never interested in anything more. Partially because he knew if he caught feelings for a girl who threatened him if he ever caught feelings, itd be over. He was perfectly fine keeping shit strictly platonic, even when they layed together, or when they started to hold hands.

-Even when she asked him if he's ever kissed someone before, and he said no, and she asked him if he wanted to. And he said no.... LMAO. He thought it was a test or something. He was sitting on her bed like FUUUUUCKFUCCK but its ok Tobin grew a pair and kissed her and they still kept things... Platonic... But... Theyd very much treat each other like a couple yknow. But they were both waaayy too prideful to admit it was anything beyond just being close friends

-But eventually Tobin would start coming to her place drunk, high, or both, more often than not. He'd show up every Wednesday like always, but he'd end up falling asleep at the table, or be so fucked up with booze and pills that he was practically unresponsive anyways. For awhile, Tali didn't care to, or want to, be on his ass about it. She let him sleep, she let him come to her whenever he needed

-It became a problem when they started really, genuinely fighting. They would have petty arguments or banter or piss each other off all the time, but they never actually fought in ways that hurt that much. Tali would say things that hurt his ego, and Tobin would try to tear her down. Theyd start yelling at each other, insulting each other. They were fucked up kids who lived fucked up lives going through fucked up things. And all they really knew was how to hurt each other, and then pretend like nothing happened cuz they couldnt lose each other no matter how hard they tried

-Tali eventually banned Tobin from coming around her when he was fucked up, and he listened. He came around a lot less, even missing Wednesday tutor nights sometimes, but he never fully left yknow. On the days he'd show up at school, he'd be trying to make up to Tali for pissing her off last night, or bugging her to get her to laugh at one of his shitty jokes. And she'd let him in every time. In all honesty, she couldn't ever really truly hate him

-It was Tobin who realized he caught feelings first, they were sitting on her bed and she laughed and water came out of her nose, and she laughed harder, and Tobin couldnt even laugh too cuz he was just sitting there feeling that heavy fondness in his chest, he couldnt do anything but stare at her and smile at how beautiful she was. And the moment the word "love" came into his head he was immediately like OH FUCK. It was something he immediately shoved alllll the fucking way down. He couldnt imagine her ever actually liking him back, or agreeing to be his. Tali was always very very vocal about her independence, how she would never be anyones but hers, how she hated guys, she hated the idea of romance, she hated cliches. And he was fine with that, he was fine with just being her best friend.

-Tali ended up realizing she had feelings for him after the most torturous month or so of him pulling away from her, and getting heavy into drugs/drinking again. He ended up getting into a fight with his dad, and he was fucked up on pills again, but he stumbled to her place at night, he didnt know where else to go. Despite her rules, she let him in. And he didnt fight, or argue, she just let him wash up, and climb into bed with her. Tali realized that she really would do anything for him, and just how much she cared for him. She wanted him to always choose to come to her, she wanted to listen to him ramble, and she liked him sober more than anything

-It was Tobin who said "I love you" first. And Tali slapped the shit out of him LMAOOO Cuz they were having a really bad fight and he said it sorta as a last ditch effort and she was like Do NOT fuckin' say that to me!!!! And he was like FUCK WHATEVER And then he kept going. And Tali realized like Oh shit he actually loves me hes not just fucking with me Lmao. Yada yada they hugged and made up

-They started dating about a year after they met, and it was literally a result of Tobin harassing her into saying yes. He was so fucking annoying about it Tali was just like FUCK FINE! WHATEVER! And their first date was sparring. They just met up. And beat the fuck outta each other. Cuz Tobin knew she hated cliches and loved MMA so fuck it why not

-Then about half a year after they started dating, Tali called Tobin to tell him she accidentally killed her brother. So Tobin did the logical thing. And blew his dads brains out with a shotgun. And they took Tali's dads truck and ditched town. They were 17 at this point, almost 18.

-They ended up in Louisiana after this, crashing in motels and shelters or really wherever. Literally all they had left was each other, and Tobin made a promise he'd never leave Tali. It was them against the world. They got promise rings around this period too, Tobin has the sun, Tali has the moon. Tali also got her snakebite piercings here too

-Eventually Tobin got enough cash selling drugs, and eventually guns/things he stole/etc, and Tali would job hop trying to make whatever she could to get by. They had to stay on the downlow as much as possible though. But they got a cheap, sketchy, small apartment together and lived in the city for awhile. This is when they went from being dumb kids with stupid issues, to adults with really heavy shit on their plates

-But it was always them together. They'd have really fucking brutal fights, even worse than in high school. Theyd scream so loud at each other, Tali would storm out, Tobin would break shit, Tali would throw plates at him. They got to a point where it was almost always fighting, breaking up, making up, tearing each other down, hurting each other. Tobin got really involved with the drug/crime scene in the city, befriending this other junkie named Skinner. They were real close for awhile, and Skinner practically taught Tobin all the ropes of arms and narcotics dealing. Tobin got into serious shit, and was making serious money

-And it put a serious strain on his relationship with Tali, especially when he started to get more and more afraid of committing to her. And so they broke up, and Tali kicked Tobin out, and he stayed with Skinner, and it just wasnt them against the world anymore. And my god did it hurt

-They completely cut contact, this time they were both sure they finally were done for good. Tobin wouldnt be sober for even a day, always drinking or getting high, fucking around with some girl he knew cuz they both wanted a rebound, but never being able to take it seriously or really do anything cuz god he just missed Tali so much, and he learned so quickly that nobody compares

-Tali spent her time waitressing at a small diner she was pretty sure was a laundering scheme but didnt give a fuck to think about it. She didnt talk to anyone, she just held her breath every day trying not to grieve. And she'd try not to break into tears at night when she realized her boy wouldnt come home and crawl into bed with her. She missed him so much, every day, for that month and a bit.

-And then Tobin found himself in some sketchy apartment, so fucked up on downers he couldn't even think, and he didnt even realize that Skinner had overdosed and died right there by him. He didnt call 911 in time, and when the paramedics arrived, he called the one person he knew he could rely on. Tobin was even too fucked up to realize what he had done, until he saw Tali pull up to the curb he was sitting on, and get out of the car, and sat next to him

-The ride back to their apartment was quiet. Everything for Tobin was slow, buzzing, and silent. And Tali was just happy he was safe. She got him into the house, and he didnt say a word as he laid down with her in bed, and she kissed the top of his head, and he quietly muttered that he loved her, and he missed her, and he needed her. And she whispered that she loved and missed him too, and they fell asleep.

-She let him sleep in that morning and when he woke up he didnt tell her what happened, and she didnt ask. He just hugged her, and she hugged him back. And from that point on they got back together and Tobin cut back on his drug use, and they agreed to ditch the city and start fresh somewhere else

-During that transition period from Louisiana and to Farnbury, about a month or so, Tobin and Tali were very dedicated to making it work between them. They knew just how fucking badly it hurt when they left, they knew how good it felt to be back together, they knew that nobody else compared, that it was always just going to be them. They were best friends, partners in crime, it was them against the world. Theyd be patient with each other, they'd communicate, theyd love each other without any restraint. Tobin would work so hard to make sure his girl knew she was loved, to make sure she knew he'd always come home to her when he went out. And Tali would always defend him, have his back, be there when the world would turn its back on him.

-They werent those dumb reckless kids that were best friends in highschool anymore, but they still had each other. And they would for the rest of their lives. Happily ever after fr.

[taryry]

Here’s what Nevermoor character you love the most to says about you:

This is for entertainment purposes only, im not trying to offend anyone by this im just really bored and obsessing over Nevermoor. Again.

1) Morrigan Crow - you probably have family issues. You are a kind of person who has inside jokes with themselves and enjoys it. You had a Mitski phase. Or you still do. You have a small group of people that you trust with your life. You are probably a bit morbid. You are a night owl yet you love mornings. A high achiever. Go rest. You dont tend to express your opinions, others have to ask whats on your mind. You prefer peaceful surroundings. You cant stand the dirt in general and probably take way more showers trough the day than necessary. Amazing intuition. Your favorite subjects is history or any kind of social study.

2) Hawthorne Swift - you are very loyal and optimistic. You sleep with the socks on. You study for the test only if its about the stuff you are interested in, the rest of your grades are probably good because of your friends that get u out of trouble. You tend to get distracted a lot. You say your thoughts out loud and your inside voice does not like to cooperate with you. You let your intrusive thoughts win. People are drawn to you and children love being around you. You own the chaotic neutral genre. You take PE seriously. You were biting other kids when you were younger. You give the best hugs.

3) Cadence Blackburn - you are actually very emotional but would rather sit naked on a hot grill than let someone know. You sideye everyone. You love reading and you love walking around the forest. You either love rain or hate it no in between. Both cat and dog person. You love wearing rings and styling your hair. You use sarcasm to the point where people cant tell if you are being sarcastic or not. People think you are annoyed by them but you are actually happy to spend time with them. Good at keeping secrets and hiding stuff at general.

4) Jack - you are annoyed easily and you dont care if it shows. You enjoy studying and politic discussions. You play a music instrument or have played at some point or you really want to. Amazing sense of humor. For all of your closest friends you have thought that they were annoying and you couldnt stand them at first. You like to tease others. A bit arrogant but a good heart. A great listener with a lot of patience. You hate when others ask you to repeat what you have just said and every time it happens u take a second while staring at the wall and taking a deep breath before talking again. Responsibleoldersiblingcommunity.com

5) Jupiter North - you are a fan of 80s music. You are very optimistic and people are naturally gravitating towards you. You read people like an open book that was written for 5 year olds. You like making jokes about others but you can take a joke about you. People are scared when you get angry. Patient. Mother of the group. You like dancing in the rain and talking to strangers. One of the greatest students but nobody cant figure out how is that possible. You love traveling and trying out new things . Getting out of the comfort zone isnt a problem for you. You drink milk straight out of the carton, partly because it pisses others off and partly bc it keeps you from spilling it Born leader. A heart of gold. Chaotic. People think u say everything out loud but you dont. Others find you very comforting. I love you.

6) Ezra Squall - dark humor™. People cant tell when you are actually joking and try their best to stay in good terms with you. Clean freak. You love children. Unhealthy perfectionist. You dont study a lot but you have amazing grades. U enjoy listening to Crystal Castles and low vibrational music. Ambivert. You. Have. Style. You are able to predict things before you see the outcome. You do stuff for yourself and you think that the end justifies the means. You never explain yourself unless really necessary. You leave people on seen just for fun. Rule maker or breaker usually the first. You know your way with words and people. Unique person.

I hope you enjoyed this, comment if you guys want part 2!!

Stay wundrous xoxo

[chipper-asks]

Hi! I've been following you for a good while now and have always rly admired the community you've build, and, your art itself, obviously, it's always very cozy in here. May be a strange question, but as a relatively popular artist on the interned, are there any tips you could share on how to engage and sustain an audience? maybe you know some recourses for artist to get their art seen? I've been an artist posting online for roughly 10 yrs and pretty much failed at accumulating any sort of prominent presence. I don't feel bad about it really, it's not why I do art per say, but these are pretty rough times and unfortunately other means of art monetization grow thinner with stupid updates & algorithms forcing anyone who can't afford payed adds or subscriptions out of business. I kinda have to make use of social media, even if it's not my element in the slightest. Feel free not to answer if you feel like it. Thanks in advance! Also big thanks for your shouts of my art overall, I really appreciate your support!

So I've had a post in my drafts for who knows how long detailing how to build and curate your audience online. But I haven't found a good way to go about posting it because I didn't want it to come off as tooting my own horn xD

BUT YOU HAVE ENABLED ME SO HERE WE GO!!!

(im going to generalize, you may already be doing some of these things but I think its good info for anyone who wants to build an online presence)

1. Engaging your audience

A: First, you have to think of the platform you're sharing your art on and what people use it for. Not even tumblr, but the internet as a whole. It is a place where people form communities and share information. It's also one of the most popular ways to mentally escape; from school, boredom, to the horrors of real life.

So if you want people to find you, make a space where they can escape/feel community.

This means: No callout posting, no venting, no doom posting, no politics, no guilt posting, no anything that would make you unfollow someone else if you were having a bad day.

It's okay to have an occasional vent or political post cause we're human, but trauma dumping is something thats very hard for someone else to read and honestly should you be putting that kind of information online, the internet is a place of community but it also isnt safe.

B: The Value of Fandoms

It's time for some metrics, featuring my own follower count.

I've been on tumblr for 9 years and I have been making an effort to grow my base as a way of getting money as a freelancer (like you) so I started doing this allll the way back in highschool. I can remember each milestone and which fandom I got them in

1,000 I got when I was posting stuff for Undertale

2,000 I got when I was posting stuff for The Property of Hate

there was a big break between these milestones where I was just drawing ocs and object heads and stuff, but nothing I was hyperfixated on

5,000 I got from Hollow Knight

but then something really unexpected happened.

In late 2021 and early 2022 I decided cringe was a worthless social construct and decided to fully indulge in my enjoyment of doodling dragons.

I juuust inched past 5,000 when 2022 started. I Ended Up With 12,000 as 2022 ended. That's more than double. As of posting this I am at 13,600 and its only February.

So how did that happen? I could tout along and say that it was simply luck and I wasn't really making an effort anyway but that's a big fuckin lie, i've been "selling out" this whole time (it's not fucking selling out to post in fandom. You like a thing? You go to the thing's community and post about the thing)

Posting in a fandom is essentially like, now bear with me, advertising for your blog. Fandom is where the eyes are and where the traffic goes. Big tags like #artistsontumblr #tumblrart #art are used OFTEN but they're too general and often people look for things that are specific. Fandoms like Hollow Knight, BNHA, Mob Psycho, The Owl House, etc are currently popping off and have a lot of traffic.

This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to join a popular fandom to post your work in to get followers, it just means that if you're into a show or a media, post it on your main art blog and don't make side blogs. Keep it all together

Why?

Because 5% of those fandom people stick around for YOUR STUFF and those 5% of people are the best goddamn people in the world. You want those 5% to see EVERYTHING you do and THEY'RE the ones who will recommend you to THEIR friends and do outreach on your behalf because they like YOU and not YOUR STUFF.

i fuckin love those guys

So as you hop from fandom to fandom, you're going to lose some people but that's fine. Everyone curates their experience online and if you head off in a direction they don't like then they can deal with it. The rest come along for the ride cause 1: they either really like your stuff or 2: are into the new thing you're getting into.

SO ANYWAY

posting in fandoms under one name is GOOD because it puts everyone in the same bucket that will see your stuff and there's a chance that a few will stick just for your stuff. It is not cheap, its how you reach out to people to help cheer up their day and escape from things stressing them out.

C: What should you post?

So this is something that isn't an exact science but if you're looking to increase your follower count, this is something you can keep in mind.

Because this is the internet and the digital word of escaping from stress, people flock to things that are

1: Familiar 2: Funny 3: Relatable

So i've already been over fandoms and that's something that goes into the Familiar category. Familiar can also mean generalized but still popular concepts, like werewolves, dragons, vampires, apocalyptic scenarios, etc.

The more you trail into something niche, like marine biology, the seelie/unseelie courts, object heads, etc, the less traffic you'll find. There are communities centered around these but they're not massive like certain fandoms.

Which is how you end up with artists who spend hours upon hours on every piece only getting like 14 - 32 notes per piece. It's not lack of people caring or lack of interest, its the fact that these artists haven't "advertised" their blogs in fandom. Those people who end up caring about more personal posts are those 5% you find from fandom spaces. Their Familiar from that fandom begins to include your artwork as Familiar and thus they're more likely to share it.

Funny is simple. Tumblr is a platform of shitposts and memes. Do you have a favorite character in a fandom? Shitpost them. 2 birds with one stone, Familiar and Funny. I can't teach you how to be funny, but if you see something that makes you laugh online, pause and try to find out why and see if you can replicate it. (You wont get it in one go)

Relate-ability is also simple. If someone finds something they can easily associate with they will eagerly tag #mood #me or @ one of their friends in the post.

What doesn't get people following just by itself is your skill.

This sounds really fucking depressing but hear me out.

Your skill in art is a multiplier. It can take those three categories from above and BOOST IT to fantastic new heights. People love things that are from their fandoms that are funny and relate-able. People go FERAL for shit that is from their fandoms that are funny, relate-able AND COOL AS FUCK. If art represented x5 in an equation and you have nothing else, you get 0. If you include any of those three other things and then x5, you get something grand.

2. Sustaining your Audience.

If you want to set up your blog as a platform to eventually gain freelance income from, you need to make it yours and not your audience's.

This is key to prevent burnout and feeling obligation to create for thousands of featureless faces and losing sight of what made you enjoy art in the first place.

It is REALLY EASY to fall into that pit, especially as you grow your audience. When you have a small audience, it's easier to interact one on one with someone. Engagement is exciting when you have a small audience! People? Interested in your work!! Fuck yeah!!

But as you reach those milestones, the vibe begins to change. More and more people demand your attention. People who are new don't see you as an artist they knew from another fandom, they see you as a content creator and that is the worst goddamn stone wheel to get stuck around your neck.

You can still respond to requests and answer silly questions, but now you have to keep in mind that if you draw this little dragon for someone, three other people are going to ask for their own little dragons. And that's fine because you love dragons and they asked so nicely. You make those dragons but now there's seven people asking for their own dragons and you actually want to work on something other than dragons-- but you made those dragon doodles for those other people so wouldn't it be hypocritical to say no-

It becomes a spiral.

So to prevent that situation from happening, you need to respect your boundaries as an artist and what you will do and what you will draw the line at. If someone doesn't like you for that, they can unfollow.

In terms of posting regularly to sustain your audience, i've found that it helps but ultimately doesn't matter.

(this is a tumblr centric view, i cannot say the same for other platforms)

The way tumblr works resembles a massive recycling facility. You will see shit on your dash from 7 years ago but you dont mind, its how this place works.

It doesn't matter how often you post. You won't lose priority on people's dashboards if you don't make your daily art post. What matters is that you just make the post.

Each post you make is like sending out a bucket of chum into the grand ocean of tumblr. The more buckets of chum you have, the more likely you are to attract fish. The more you post the larger your radius is. The more variety you make in spreading out to different fandoms the wider your range is. And these spots of chum don't go away! They're permanent brown spots in a big blue wasteland and fish will stumble across it and then try to find the source.

Basically, you can disappear for an entire month and then suddenly return out of nowhere and shove 57 posts into a week and then disappear again and people will show up and stick around.

THis post is getting really long and there are probably some things im missing but my hadns are getting achy and i think that's my call to stop :p

if you have anymore questions tho im very willing to answer 👍

[wszczebrzyszynie]

(sorry if I’m asking too many questions I just thought of this other one) out of everyone in the manor and everyone who visits, who does Mikita like best and hate or just dislike the most, and why?

Sorry for marinating this ask for a while. Geniuely forgot about it but its a pretty good one. This will be long so im putting it under the read more thing

Mikita is unpleasant and dead set on making people dislike him in a complex self sabotage and defence mechanism way, so its safe to say no one really likes him and he doesnt like anyone either. I guess the one person he hates most would be Trycz, since shes... a bit too similar to him, i suppose. Both age wise (mikita hates his peers; he knows very well how to act around adults and doesnt take children seriously enough to care about them, but with teenagers he doesnt have the clear "hierarchy barrier" (other than class maybe, but it doesnt really work that way at the manor... which is why ryba was so set on befriending him in the first place) to save him in conversations - he doesnt feel like he belongs with his peers and doesnt understand them, and isnt willing to change that, putting him in very awkward situations) and personality wise. He doesnt really acknowledge it, but he sees Trycz as what he was taught to see as a rival; someone to fight with for attention and praise to prove himself worthy to the adults around him (which i guess means he acknowledges Trycz is insanely smart, so at least theres... that), except he knows hes loosing. He believes she is a better version of him, with an amazing for that time period support system (+ Mikas very specific relationship with gender plays a role here too. He tends to disregard men and be more agreeable with (especially older) women. Its a consequence of his deeply rooted mother issues and the general way he was raised; he just respects girls more and since Trycz is a girl he doesnt feel like picking fights with her, as he often does with Przemek). Her presence reminds Mikita that hes a failure and causes him to undo most of the progress hes made so far. In a story sense, Trycz is here to paralell Mikita (especially the pre-manor Mikita) to test his character growth, and its a test that he fails in the typical sense (wouldnt really call that a failure, as he still did all that progress and even if he "relapses" in a way hes still in a better position that he was at the beginning. But it is a setback). All of these feelings are completly one sided, Trycz is dealing with something entirely different at the same time and doesnt really care about Mika 👍

As for his favourite visitor its Helen and Artur, probably. Theyre both artists, way older than him and generally very nice... Artur doesnt really talk to anyone other than his closest family much and Helen doesnt speak any of the languages used at the manor, but they communicate in very rusty simple french if needed. There isnt much to it Mikita just doesnt mind their presence whatsoever and is very good at avoiding their son. This reminds me i have a very cool little short comic about Artur and Mikita to finish

Anyways never apologize for asking stuff, especially not about my ocs. As you can see i am not normal about them. That being said i am not proofreading any of that

[yanderefairyangel]

I do think that she can change as a person. F!Alear sockpuppet person I mean. But having people push that they think she cannot change won't help the situation. She probably has trouble changing cause of the pushback she is getting from people. Those non anonymous comments on her fics being examples of people pushing against her and insisting she can't change.

I still want to try and help her since it seems like no one else wants to

Anon, you got the situation completely wrong and it shows

No one is saying she can't change

what we are saying is that SHE DOES NOT WANT to

That's the problem. We all know she can change, anyone can, the issue is that she doesn't want to

Also no, I don't think that's because people "push she cannot change" that she isn't trying, the reason is because she has proven many times again and again she isnt interested in changing because to her, she is in the right, the people criticizing her are in the wrong

Not once did she seemed to actually have reflected on her behavior, heck even when she did her mea culpa admitting that she did steal fanfics, she still tried to justify herself in a "yeha but I still came up first with any way soooo"

We all know she can change, but her attitude and actions make it clear she isn't interested in changing

No one is gonna force her, if she doesn't want to change, then we will just avoid her because that's the only thing we can do, we can't force her to change or to stay the same, it has to be her who decide to make the first step which would actually require her to admit her mistakes and make an apology

Yes some people would probably think it's past the point, but the reason why people are still angry is because she didn't even do this simple act and instead went trippling down

Which again, she already did stuff like that and worse in other fandom she was in, she clearly doesn't want to change

"Those non anonymous comments on her fics being examples of people pushing against her and insisting she can't change."

I checked and... they aren't non anonymous, one of the person commenting is actually trying to reason with them and debunking their whole sob sob woe is me giantically long author note longer than the fic itself, in fact MOST IF NOT ALL of the non anonymous person commenting are providing further context as to what they mean by "I dislike Alearcryst and Lapicryst because people shipped them in a sexist way"

The meaner comments and even those defending her are ...from guest accounts... GUEST

And you know what it reminds me of ? That type I saw her being constantly receiving mean anon, getting worried, chekcing on her to see if everything was alright and if she needed help, only for her to delete her account, pretend to be another person, steal fanfiction and discover that she used to send to herself mean comments to pretend she was being harrassed... so naturally, my brain is wondering i those are actually real people or if she didn't just created those account herself to send herself mean messages

Why ? Because she already did it now trust is broken, I can no longer believe those, especially when most of the non anonymous and no guest account weren't being hateful and only providing further context

(also reading this note especially the Bernadetta and Alcryst part made me genuinely feel sick)

"I still want to try and help her since it seems like no one else wants to"

That's very charitable of you Anon, go ahead, do it and we'll see how that works, if she will not just ignore you like what she did when I tried the first time and then continue to steal fanfics and all that

What you have to understand is that as long as she view herself as the vicitm in this situation she will not change, it doesn't matter how many hands raise to help her, she wont take any as long as she doesn't understand that she needs to change

But she won't because in her eyes she did nothign wrong, she is the victim and all that

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped because they don't view themselves as the problem but as a victim

The best you can do is just leave her alone and I think everyone should just do that now but given how she also mispread informations about people which could actually ruin their reputation, the best you can do is just to avoid her but try to deliver your side of the story whenever she talks about it

[neonfretra]

pointing gun at ceiling. hey do yall want to hear something funny ^_^

im not sayin i make sweet love to generative ai in the arts but i think the way people get about it is kinda. nothin. as an artist. as an artist who does not use it and does not enjoy it.

soulless art, not really art you did yourself... babes i dont think you woulda loved digital art when it was new. nor like. any sorta technology HAHAHA

hope its not too much a reach to ask whats the read on all sortsa different mediums . is photography devaluating our photorealism? is abstract art the death of representative art? is pop music shallow and meaningless compared to the classical greats? did you REALLY make art if you arent goin directly pen to paper with it? is ANY diversion from our "established" art the enemy????? (if you answered yes to any of these. hey! maybe we should unpack these anywhere BUT my account. on our own time)

you think im crazy, i tell you ive seen people with the take that using the fill bucket is cheating. hello

tell me you think we need stricter copyright laws i ask whats the take on music sampling. im not sayin you dont care about artists, im just sayin itd be real easy to swing you to side with the massive corporations that suppress individual or independent voices . im just sayin yall realize that goin down that thought means my account that is based entirely off fanart should NOT exist in a world like this . im just sayin are we familiar with the history of hip hop and how its built OFF takin different parts of existing songs and reshaping it into something new. really interesting stuff actually !

but what can you say about art without devaluing all other sortsa art??? am i making REAL art?????? the answer is that at the end of the day its all anime if you ask the right people LMAOOO

computers had a part in art for forever... midi files and animation curves and procedural generation... ai, computer generation, autofill on steroids, whatever we callin it this time, the fact that its in the arts isnt really the problem as much as its just an exacerbation on the existin issues within the art industry and the devaluation of the arts in the public eye .

or we could just take the easy way through and say we gotta copyright ai art to oblivion yeah alrigh

if yallre reading this far. i really dont rock with ai art. its unappealing to me, i dont like the trends within it or the attitudes around it or the complete lack of accountability or responsibility in our next hot thing in technology . i just think the way people go around hating it is. look.

sometimes i wonder how hard itd be to get someone to swing hard conservative. not because i think its got anythin worth believin but because theres some very unexamined very deep seated beliefs goin around. DIDNT THINK ID SEE "ITS US VS THEM" IN THE WILD ALL IM SAYIN

to clarify for people who dont recognize this phrase (us versus them mentality for further reading), its real easy to get people riled up about a group when you draw the line and say these people are DIFFERENT and NOT LIKE US. then start gettin into that swing of "if they arent us then treatin them poorly is acceptable"

if yall ever see this kinda thinkin in the world! consider slowin down to ask yourself who benefits from the us vs them thinkin and who doesnt . and why anyone tryin to sell you on it

[corvidcall]

Fascinated by your sarah z hate- would love to hear more about this if you’d like to share. My experience of her is just that mediocre Homestuck vid or something she made.

lmao yeah sure i guess i can expound on it

i should preface this by saying that i dont think shes like. a bad person. and i dont have some secret knowledge of problematique things shes done that we should all Cancel her for.

tl;dr i just think her videos are really bad. she keeps making videos about stuff that i was there for and then being wrong about them, and it drives me crazy. on top of that, it just rubs me the wrong way to make your whole brand "the lady who talks about tumblr"

like, i think her homestuck video sucks (and i think its very funny that she admitted that she only spent a week making it, but ALSO got really defensive when people said she was wrong about stuff. like, i think the way whatpumpkin and andrew hussie responded to her video was Bad but also that doesnt retroactively defend the original video from being poorly researched and, in my opinion, in bad taste. it was weird to make a video where you talk about all the controversy about hs^2 not that long after the whole project got cancelled because too many of the trans women working on it were receiving daily death threats)

and i think the mcelroys video sucks (that was the last one i watched before i gave up entirely. its really long and very boring, and basically is just her listing a bunch of stuff they did that people had problems with, which essentially puts "travis was annoying on twitch" on the same level of seriousness as "taz: graduation used a lot of harmful native american stereotypes". i genuinely am not sure what the point of this video was supposed to be, because it feels like its her reading a tumblr callout post. also she was wrong about taz: amnesty. the ending WAS foreshadowed, it did NOT come out of nowhere, she just wasnt paying attention.)

but the onceler fandom video is honestly the absolute pits. i am still friends with a lot of the people that i was in the onceler fandom with, and i genuinely havent met a single former onceslut who thought her video was good, or the least bit accurate. her thesis basically boils down to that the onceler fandom was just a bunch of young teen girls projecting fantasies onto a nonthreating decently attractive fictional guy, which isnt that weird and people are only making a big thing about it because they hate teenage girls. and her conclusions arent WRONG, per say, since people DO hate teen girls and this is a thing theyre known to do... its just. thats literally not what the onceler fandom was at all?? first off, when i got into it i was 17 and i was the youngest person i knew by far. almost everyone i saw in the fandom were in their 20s, and a lot of them were not girls at all. and as far as any of US remember, the thing sustained the fandom wasnt 13 year old girls exploring their nascent sexualities, it was people using the barest pretense to make OCs, and then craft stories with and about their friends OCs. it was a really cool unique experience because it was a fandom for the things the fandom built. a lot of the people i knew had never watched the movie The Lorax at all, or didnt really care about it one way or another, but DID get really invested in the dynamic between Swag and One, or got really invested in the two big AUs the fandom had. By the time i got there, most people had kinda moved away from the canon onceler anyway, and were focused almost exclusively on the AUs (there was a high school AU and a zombie apocalypse AU, and then during the summer the high school AU blogs would do a child summer camp AU. i liked the zombie one best because i love melodrama, but the high school one was most popular). i know she was IN the onceler fandom (allegedly...) but as far as i can tell, she was just there at the very start, because it changed WILDLY even just a few months after its inception. and there's no way anyone who saw the fandom that I was actually in would make the sweeping statements about it that she did.

broadly, her videos are too unfocused and not really well-written. her one on Oppa Homeless Style was a genuinely good video!! I know she CAN do good videos!! But so many of her more fandom-focused videos dont really seem to have a thesis beyond "this happened" or maybe even "this was kinda weird right?". like what is the viewer supposed to take away from the video about the mcleroys? that they made a podcast that was really popular and then got less popular? why did that take you TWO HOURS to say? and even when she does have a strong thesis, its always muddied by the fact that she feels compelled to add in really long, boring digressions. I think the video about All or Nothing was good, and made an interesting point about how pan and ace people are really starved for meaningful rep, but i dont understand why she felt compelled to recount the entire plot of the webseries someone made? what did that contribute to the thesis? its like shes reading a wikipedia page, and not like. an actual ESSAY. that someone structured to convey a POINT.

but overall i just take umbrage with her whole "tumblr historian" shtick. i think its kind of gross to put really niche (generally woman-dominated) subcultures on display so people can come gawk at the freaks. ive heard the defense that "she IS a fandom person!! these videos are FOR fandom people!!" but 1. if its supposedly supposed to be for me and NOT an audience of people unfamiliar with the thing shes talking about, then there would be no need to spend so long explaining what everything is, and 2. i can at least say, in my own subjective experience, that i said basically all this to my sister, who told me that thats why she likes sarah z at all, because the videos let her come gawk at all the fandom freaks on tumblr. so its cool that sarah z is giving the person who bullied me my whole life (specifically because the way i engaged with media was too cringe) more reasons to bully me for being cringe. big preesh sarah. glad youre making money off of the free content all of us put out, and even more glad that youre profiting by taking all that free content and presenting it to a largely hostile and judgemental audience who already thinks im a fucking idiot. why dont you make a video about my popular hamlet post next, since you seem to make videos exclusively about things i did.

anyway if i want to watch video essays about fandom, i'll watch princess weekes, whose videos are substantive and not... idk very juvenile. not that i think there cant be more than one youtuber talking about fandom!!! its just that sarah z's videos are mid at best and actively bad at worst, so im not gonna bother.

(all that being said, i occasionally look at her blog and reblog stuff. while shes working down in the tumblr mines looking for content to steal, she does frequently find some decent posts to reblog)

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, reg kin anon back

so, ive looked into it a little but i couldnt find any information online about whether my uni could offer free counselling/support when i get there, so its something i think ill just have to ask about once i actually get there.

which... is in three days. i move out on wednesday 11th, and its absolutely terrifying how soon that is. i feel so underprepared and i hate feeling like that because im the type of person to have multiple backup plans, i always check ahead of time about everything, i was that kid who used to make sure they knew everything they needed to if they got in a car accident or whatever. i was *prepared*, and now suddenly im moving out in three days and havent a clue what im doing.

its also so overwhelming trying to do anything. ive tried making lists to help but even that isnt working, and im so afraid i wont be prepared to go. i dont understand how anyone can be okay with anything anymore. i honestly cant believe i ever wished so badly to be an adult because its the most stressful, frustrating, and terrifying thing ever — and ive not even hit the tip of the iceberg yet, im well aware.

so far ive packed dry foods i bought beforehand (because ive no fucking clue where the food shops are where im moving, or how far they will be, or how easy itll be to trnasport shopping etc, so i figured it would be easier to bring anything i could so that id be set for a day or two at least), and thats about it. i cant pack clothes until the day before, and i cant pack toiletries until just before since ill still be using them, and im not packing all the stuff i bought in earlier asks (bedding, towels etc) until im packing clothes, because right now *theyre* all in my suitcase and theres no point taking them out and taking up more space with them until the clothes need to go in instead. i need to pack my plates and cups and such but i dont have any boxes and my father was supposed to get me some but hes done fuck all this past week and its really stressing me out.

is moving always this stressful or am i just overthinking everything? i feel like i never feel correctly about anything in life (ive had severe anxiety for longer than i can remember which really doesnt help) so i cant tell if im just being dramatic about it or if its actually normal to be so stressed about something that everyone does. would it be easier or more difficult without my mother's diagnosis? i dont know that she'd have helped much anyway, honestly, but still i cant help wondering. do people in normal families find it this difficult or is it calmer?

Hi!!!

Well by the time you read this you'll have moved!

Honestly, there's no real way to be completely prepared. You're gonna forget something, something will go wrong, and part of adulthood is just knowing that things go wrong and it's okay. It'll be okay, and you can figure it out, I promise.

Would it be easier if things were normal? Probably. But moving is still stressful no matter what. I promise you, everyone is stressed about this, and everyone is going to forget something and make mistakes. The most important thing is to find people to rely on, so when you make a mistake, you have people to help, you know? Adulthood is really just calling someone up and saying "I fucked up" and then as soon as you figure it out, someone calls you and says the same.

It'll be okay <3 I'm sending so much love.

[sigmashuffle]

I have a question!! So I’m a long-time BSD enjoyer but I haven’t read nearly as much of the manga as I would like. I’ve seen all of the anime though, most of it multiple times through. I didn’t realize until looking at the comments on Danny Motta’s video at how much people fucking hate Fukuchi and his sword. Up until this point I’ve thought it’s cool as hell and he, along with the sword, bring something kinda new and fun to the series.

HOWEVER, I know BSD is FAR from perfect and there’s a lot of dumb shit that faithful manga readers have a better perspective on. Would you mind explaining why Fukuchi and the sword are such a sore point? I hope this isn’t too much to ask. I just really want to know.

Hi anon! Its not too much to ask at all!

Unfortunately the answer to that is best explained in the context of ALL the issues I have with the manga/show so... this is going to be v long... and im done giving this show more credit than it deserves but don't take it that seriously lol I hesitate to even consider my pov to be on par with the average manga reader but ig we'll see how my opinions hold up after i post

And disclaimer: I don't mind answering this but ONLY with the context that this is 100% my opinion (as of late, bsd as a whole has just been REALLY bugging me so im just gonna take this opportunity to explain my gripes since most of them apply to or tie greatly into fukuchi's character/design/motivations/development)

I simply don't want anyone to come for my head bc of anything I say here tho, bc I feel like I may disagree with a large portion of the fanbase but WITH THAT SAID...

***from this point forward there will be a few spoilers from s5e11***

Here are my gripes with BSD...

1. BSD and its "magic system"?

bsd powers suffer from what i like to call a "lack of scope"

granted this could be due to the fact the story isnt complete HOWEVER im sure any anime fan can tell you this story doesnt feel like it is leading anywhere its just... going... (ill get to the awful pacing later)

for comparison sake im going to also talk about The Case Study of Vanitas since it is the world I have the most experience in

what does BSD not have that VNC does?

simply put, the magic system doesnt reinvent itself character to character

in VNC if you have an ability it is EXCLUSIVELY connected to "manipulations of the world formula" which is essentially elemental control (fire, ice, gravity, etc.) based on a sci fi version of chemistry (alchemy, if you will) and this rule applies to EVERY CHARACTER in VNC

its a structure that starts developing from the beginning

BSD however introduces a WHOLE NEW magic system for each character

some character abilities are similar, yes, and can be classified as such, but many cannot be classified

again a magic system doesnt NEED to have strict rules (its actually more boring that way if the rules are too simple) but it DOES need RULES... and solid ones

otherwise its tempting to use the MAGIC system to fill in PLOT RELATED gaps

and if that system isnt defined, well, to me that looks like lazy/sloppy/illogical writing

if you like the whiplash of not knowing whats gonna happen next, fine, (i did for awhile too!) up until the unpredictability started to come from powers that as a whole look like an authors way of trying to write themselves out of their own plot hole

ie: time travel

specifically time travel that isnt introduced FROM THE BEGINNING...

2. Fukuchi and his "deus ex machina" sword

time travel is NOTORIOUSLY difficult to pull off and especially by my standards

I have watched Doctor Who since 2008, before I even knew what tumblr was I was doing my own solo fandom stuff (basically just watching a LOT of youtube video essays) but basically I have high standards when it comes to time travel in stories

Amenogozen has the POTENTIAL to be a great weapon if used in a logical context... but theres one thing the sword (and BSD as a whole) does not follow

RULES

time travel is TRICKY mostly bc it has consequences... in BSD fukuchi gives nothing in exchange for his powers

lets even toss time travel aside for the moment

what is Fukuchi's innate special ability? Mirror Lion... (read below)

its essentially an attack multiplier of x100 at CLOSE RANGE

lets say your average untrained human punch is 150psi (pounds per square inch) which is the pressure equivalent of a point 100m below the surface of the ocean...

with Mirror Lion's multiplier you get 15,000psi which would be 10,000m or 10 kilometers

a pressure equivalent to the deepest part of the ocean (i dont need to remind you how powerful water is... we all know about oceangate)

MY POINT IS HE'S OVERPOWERED AS FUCK

dont even get me started on his motivations too

im glad we got backstory for him in ep 11 and im sure we are just supposed to sum up his motivations into "he was willing to pay the high price for world peace" but tbh royally fuck that

dont TELL me thats what he believes

PROVE to me how you made that conclusion

also the only reason he even dies is becasue he wants fukuzawa to kill him... we dont have any sense of accomplishment for stopping his scheme because NOW the scheme has been PLOPPED right into fukuzawa's lap which fukuchi intended to do from the start... apparently

and this seemingly retroactive decision-making is a problem A LOT of bsd characters have, especially the one and only character i hate THE MOST... *drumroll*

3. Osamu fucking Dazai

oh boy...

I have thought long and hard about Dazai... im not going to lie, after ch109 and ep10 I was about to admit Dazai might actually have grown on me BUT

this was all erased after 6 minutes into ep11 when he was confirmed to indeed NOT be dead

Dazai just *knows* everything thats gonna happen

Chuuya was never a vamp... he knew this... and somehow his ENTIRE escape plan was just hinging on that? bc yknow... hE kNeW fRoM tHe bEgiNniNg

OSAMU DAZAI IS A PLOT DEVICE USED *ONLY* TO FILL IN NARRATIVE HOLES

HE IS A WAY TO FORCE PROGRESS ON A STORY WITHOUT EVER GIVING A REAL EXPLANATION

HIS CHARACTER IS AN INSULT TO INTELLIGENCE

His character is paper thin, with motivations that do not translate to his actions

and frankly... im tired of it...

additionally... if sigma doesn't survive, all of Meursault was literally useless... so why pick him for nikolai's prison break game?

even if he does, it means the ONLY thing we get out of the arc is information about fyodor... as to WHAT information, who knows... but regardless, a villain arc that has been going on for TOO GODDAMN LONG (40 chapters?) should have a resolution that isnt "i knew what was gonna happen all along"

we spent the whole time being SHOWN that fyodor and dazai were of equal intelligence levels... or at least higher than what dazai was used to dealing with

if dazai could just predict shit like this from the beginning why was fyodor a villain for so long? makes ZERO sense, dazai would've defeated him AGES ago... what makes THIS time any different?

also... why is he even suicidal? yeah ok the author was... but like... why make it such a present character trait?... so we can fake kill him over and over? idk

can you tell i dislike him?

4. THEORY vs PRACTICE

I am a "show dont tell" girlie

ALL BSD DOES IS "TELL TELL TELL" ...its infuriating

almost every power/special ability has an element of "trust me bro" ok SOME OF THEM DONT but most of them do

ie: atsushi is a tiger (what does that even mean), kenji gets strong when he's angry (ok hulk?), and THIS JUST IN we STILL don't know how fyodor's ability works... and now he's DEAD?... we also dont know almost any detail about sigma's ability and he might ALSO be dead

but thats only regarding abilities...

when it comes to writing stories using people of high intelligence it is VERY difficult to not get into the aforementioned "trust me bro" mindset which BSD does REPEATEDLY

im not listing off every example but off the top of my head is one scene from s4...

ranpo explains his plan for saving yosano loosely involved "replacing the engine [of an armored vehicle] with an electric motor and playing engine sounds over the speakers so no one noticed" ...and only i can pick this claim to shreds lol (i engineer electric vehicles for a living) but this is so wrong on so many levels...

Internal combustion engines and Electric motors are IN NO WAY EQUIVALENT

ranpo would never be able to power a vehicle the size of an armored truck with a motor that he installed an hour before the truck was put to use... he just wouldnt... the vehicle is too big... ugh *facepalm*

and dont even get me started on batteries...

MY POINT IS

if you want to write some *genius move* at least TRY to do some research to make the action believable

thats like saying "oh yeah i ran out of gas so a threw a couple AA batteries into my gas tank until i could make it to the station"

BUT THAT WOULDNT FLY BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE KNOW THATS NOT HOW CARS WORK

*sigh*

5. Manga Readers' POV

the.chapters.are.too.short

especially for a monthly released manga

i am relatively new to anime and manga... like late 2020, so I am part of the "new gen" I guess you could say so i know i dont have any right to complain about pacing in comparison to like... the dressrosa arc of One Piece

with that said, not enough in bsd BUILDS on itself

it all feels like a self "one-up"

its been too long since any of my large questions have been answered

honestly its rare that any of my questions are ever answered because the narrative rarely follows logical progression anyway and any scenes thats ARE useful are cut from the anime

characters do not *develop* their powers, they just simply ARE

whatever ability you are born with limits what you can do and thats that... which leads me to...

6. Types of Ability Users

the most coherent thing i think i can speak on so this will be short lol

there are 3 types... i think (excluding lightnovels, i have not read 15, Stormbringer, or any others)

(1) natural abilities (ones that can be nullified by dazai or stolen like in Dead Apple)

(2) human/god fusions (chuuya) -> but this can ALSO be nullified???

(3) when an ability isnt an ability (it CANT be nullified) -> ie: whatever the fuck Lovecraft is

Sigma -> ??? (he could be part of the natural ability category but like... it feels weird to put him there)

but... there is never a comparison between these types so im not even sure of this "list" is exhaustive

this is just another way the story is leaving open ways to dig itself out of a plot hole... which isnt fun... bc now there are no stakes... there are no rules... its disorganized chaos where anything can happen

everyone will always be fine because there is a way out of everything

and thats BORING... and for me, downright infuriating

fukuchi likely falls into the first category... but then again he's also using a tool from another ancient ability user... so does he even fit there?

7. Anime Adaptation

rushed

rushed

RUSHED

and i know why...

BSD is so thin on STABLE plot the story would feel like its dragging if Bones wasn't animating at the pace they are (see Manga Readers' POV)

so to try and counteract the feeling that nothing is happening they are cutting "irrelevant" scenes BUT ALSO important portions relevant ones (ie: aku's death)

do all the plot points from the manga happen? by definition, yes... but the nuance the manga has is lost almost entirely

Atsushi doesn't physically throw an injured Aku's arm over his shoulders... Aku doesn't smile upon his demise... Aku doesn't reach out through the fog of the fire extinguisher (the adaptation of this scene was personally my last straw)

and then we have the new anime content...

why did we tack on an additional fight? zero context... didn't even tie up loose ends from fukuchi like...

is sigma alive?

are chuuya/dazai/nikoali still in france? europe?

is fyodor going to return in some way? (we know nothing of his motives, ability, or MOST importantly, what information did he learn from Sigma??? his ability is an EXCHANGE so why even have that happen if they are both dead anyway?) why would you fucking kill off a character like this

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS ENTIRE ARC??? The mere reason I'm asking this question is, in and of itself, unacceptable

we MAY get an answer later... but its been 20 episodes... why the fuck dont we know anything about the arc we just completed? ...ludicrous

Final Thoughts

BSD does not have enough reliable rules in its magic system to form a solid foundation of... anything

Fukuchi is a disjointed character trying to do too many things at once, he doesn't have solid motivations, and his arc provides more questions than it answers

Osamu Dazai is not a character... he is a plot device used like a saving throw in DND

BSD frequently insults my intelligence to cover it's ass in its storytelling

being a manga reader is like taking 30 days to rip off a tiny band aid... the pacing is unbearable

even with the end of fukuchi's arc now known, there was no sense of accomplishment in defeating him bc technically we didnt… he gave himself up... so the sword was just to make him overpowered... it was pointless

the anime adaptation was rushed, scenes cherry picked, and plot narratively thinned into water... there was no depth this season

In my opinion...

There are very few redeeming characteristics about BSD now

The few meaningful scenes we do get in the manga are overwritten by later context that negates any emotion initially associated with the scene

even with the end of fukuchi's arc now known, there was no sense of accomplishment in defeating him bc technically we didnt... he gave himself up

Dazai is the worst written character I have ever read

It is very likely i drop this story entirely

If I seem salty/upset/etc. its because I am. However is NOT directed at you, it is simply a manifestation of my disappointment in this story.

...

And there you have my opinion... in way too many words... thanks for sticking around if you made it this far im impressed bc i am salty as hell lol

fin